Guiding someone’s decision to the one you want

 

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We often think influence requires facts, figures, or power plays, but people decide emotionally and justify with logic.

No one likes having their autonomy stripped away. True influence comes from helping others arrive at the outcome you already see—in a way that feels right to them.

One way to do that: match their DiSC communication style.

D – Direct Style

Direct, dominant styles may treat time like oxygen—too precious to waste. Their motto could be: “Lead, follow, or get out of my inbox.”

To influence them, be concise, frame it in terms of results, and give them the illusion of control.

  • Be brief. “Here’s the problem. Here’s the fix. Done.”

  • Show the win. “This saves three hours a week—imagine what else you could conquer.”

  • Expect challenge. “Because it gets us to the goal faster than your coffee order arrives.”

  • Offer autonomy. “Here are two high-impact options—which do you want?” (Just make sure you’re OK with both options, like my wife used to do by putting 2 outfits on the bed for my 4-year-old daughter to choose from.)

I – Influence Style

High energy/collaborative/extroverted types may see life as a group project—with extra exclamation points. Motto: “If it’s not fun, why bother?”

To persuade, keep things positive, people-focused, and collaborative.

  • Bring energy. “This idea could wow the crowd and make us look like rockstars.”

  • Show people impact. “This will make customers smile so hard they’ll want to send us muffins.”

  • Invite collaboration. “I’d love your take—what would make this even better?”

  • Start with recognition. “That presentation was so good, even the CFO paid attention.”

S – Steadiness Style

Steady styles may be the glue that holds everything together. Motto: “Slow is smooth, smooth is fast.”

With an S, emphasize stability, give time to process, and highlight reliability.

  • Be calm. “Here’s what’s changing, here’s what’s not—no panic required.”

  • Emphasize relationships. “This will make teamwork easier (and reduce late-night Slack rants).”

  • Give time. “Think it over—we can revisit tomorrow.”

  • Acknowledge contributions. “You’re the reason this team doesn’t implode.”

C – Conscientious Style

C styles may treat accuracy like dessert—always room for more. Motto: “In God we trust; all others bring spreadsheets.”

With a C, be precise, logical, and respect their standards.

  • Be precise. “We can get error rates to drop 22.3%. Yes, I brought a chart.”

  • Give the why. “This aligns with compliance—and keeps auditors away.”

  • Leave space. “Here’s the risk analysis and how we’ll mitigate it.”

  • Respect standards. “Take the time to make it airtight—future-us will thank you.”

When you guide a decision to the outcome you want in their style, you don’t just get agreement—you get buy-in.

Give them the opportunity to see things your way.

Some call this manipulation. I call it influence.

 

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