3 ways to remind yourself to pause

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People only communicate at their level of consciousness.

So when tension rises and I’m reacting emotionally (not conscious) instead of responding with intention, I try to pause — so I can get grounded, read minds, and fame my message to influence.

Here are 3 strategies I use (again and again) to help me use the Me > You > Us process.

1. Anchor the pause to a body signal

When I’m reactive, I feel heat rising. That’s my cue.

After a lot of work, I’ve become able to treat those sensations as signals—not commands.

That heat now tells me: pause here.

Your bodily signals are unique. Observe where in-the-moment tension appears and describe it.

Is it in your head, throat, stomach?

Is it blue, warm, red, cold, big, strong, blurry, a pinprick…?

Get to know what your body is telling you. Emotions are your dashboard to your very real human needs that drive everything you do.

2. Use a personal “pause phrase”

When I feel heat rising, I mentally hit play on one simple phrase:

→ What am I feeling & needing?

Create one that works for you.

→ “Don’t take the bait.”

→ “Breathe first, speak second.”

→ “Pause = Power.”

Just saying it gives my prefrontal cortex a job—and keeps the amygdala from grabbing the mic.

3. Rewind the tape and try again

Sometimes I replay a tough moment, unpack it with a colleague, journal, or talk to my dog, and ask:

→ What was happening in my body right then?

→ What was the story I was telling myself that lead to my reaction?

→ What would I say differently if I led with my values instead of my ego?

The more I process this, the more likely I am to catch myself in the moment and choose a better response next time.

Choose a better response next time.

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