Stop softening

Even if you’re the most capable person in the room, have the best ideas, or see things more clearly, your “softening” phrases can make you sound unsure or insecure – not confident – and can chip away at your credibility.

Softening phrases seem polite or humble. But in leadership and high-stakes communication, your words shape how others perceive your confidence and clarity.

❌ “I’m just going to quickly say…” Shrinks your contribution before it lands.

✅ “Here’s what I want to highlight…” Direct. Intentional. In control.

❌ “I don’t know if that makes sense…” Signals you’re second-guessing yourself.

✅ “Let me know if you’d like me to clarify.” Invites clarity without undermining your message.

❌ “Sorry, but…” Apologizing for speaking up? You don’t need to.

✅ “I want to add something here.” Confident and respectful.

❌ “I could be wrong, but…” You’ve discredited yourself before anyone else could.

✅ “From my perspective…” Owns your insight without apology.

❌ “This might be a stupid question…” You’ve trained others to tune out.

✅ “Here’s something I’m curious about…” Curiosity is courage in action.

People make snap judgments using mental shortcuts—called heuristics—about confidence, clarity, and authority.

If your ideas don’t sound confident, they often won’t be taken seriously, no matter how brilliant they are.

Use language that communicates your value, because your ideas deserve to be heard.