Small talk is important

If you dismiss small talk as pointless, remember that almost every relationship starts with a casual conversation. 

Small talk may not be substantive, but it does help us connect with others and find common ground. It serves a social purpose, to signal that “I’m safe to talk to.”

Writer John Bowe suggests that your goal when engaging in small talk is to show emotional intelligence. “Take a risk, but don’t be too threatening,” he says. You can ask:

• “Where are you from?”

• “What was your least favorite job?”

• “Are you enjoying it here?”

• “What do you do to let off steam?”

• “Tell me about your family.”

(Notice how we didn’t ask about work).

Here are some small talk-stoppers:

• Interrupting

• Intruding on existing conversations

• Talking too much about yourself

• Interrogating

• Acting disinterested in the other person

• Controversial topics

• Making it hard for the other person to follow. 

Small talk doesn’t require much, just an attempt to connect and empathize. 
Try this today by chatting with a stranger. You may even want to break the script.