Children explain, adults tell

There’s a subtle but powerful internal shift that happens when we grow – from children into adults, or from doers into leaders – we move from explaining ourselves to telling.

Children often try to avoid consequences by explaining:

“I only did that because…”

“It wasn’t my fault because…”

This instinct doesn’t always disappear in adulthood and can re-appear at work, with its power structures and lack of emotional safety (even for the boss).

It’s all too easy to fall back into the safety of childhood, over-explaining our decisions, hoping others will agree, understand, or like them.

But leaders don’t explain to avoid discomfort.

They own their decisions and communicate them with respectful clarity.

Child Mode:

“We’re changing the plan because the first idea didn’t work, and we didn’t know how much time it would take, and…”

Adult Mode:

“We’re shifting direction. Here’s what’s changing, why we made this decision, and what happens next.”

Clear is kind. (Thank you, Brené Brown).

When you lead with grounded self-authority instead of cautious explanation, you model confidence, and you give your team something solid to respond to.

Stand in your clarity, confidently.