Walk into a piano store. There’s dozens of pianos. Find the biggest Steinway and strike middle C hard. Hold the sustain pedal.
Something incredible is happening.
The C strings on the other pianos are all vibrating…without anybody touching them.
Every C string in the store is tuned to the same frequency. They’re all sending and receiving at 219.7 megahertz.
Humans do something similar.
We’re constantly reading each other. Tone. Pace. Posture. Facial expression. Energy. Our nervous systems respond to each other’s frequencies.
Walk into a conversation anxious and defensive and don’t be surprised when the other person tightens up.
Come in angry and you may get anger back.
Come in calm, grounded, and curious, and you make it easier for the other person to meet you there.
This is called co-regulation. Our nervous systems take cues from the people around us.
Which means you have more influence over a conversation than you may realize.
So before your next difficult conversation, don’t just prepare what you’re going to say. Prepare where you’re going to say it from.
Be intentional about your frequency.
If you want calm, bring calm.
If you want confidence, bring confidence.
If you want curiosity, bring curiosity.
You can’t control others, but you can influence them.
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