Power and proximity

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Because we’re social animals, every conversation—yes, every one—is doing two things at once:

It's adjusting how close we feel to the other person (proximity), and

It's shifting who holds more influence in the relationship (power).

Two hidden forces, always in flux.

When a manager says, “I trust your judgment—run with it,” they’re closing the distance and giving away power.

When someone snaps, “Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”—they're asserting power, and pulling away.

Even small things like interrupting, giving credit, asking questions, or tone of voice—they all subtly turn the dials of power and closeness.

Power and proximity determine whether someone leans in… or checks out.

In a meeting, you make a suggestion.

A colleague responds, “Great idea!” They’ve just increased proximity (support) and shared power.

But then, Bob From Accounting says, “We tried that already,” and the distance grows, while his power climbs and yours slips.

You can observe all relationships shift in real time.

You can be more situationally aware.

You can uncover opportunities to influence by understanding the forces of power and proximity.

Watch for them today.

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