Your culture is built by what you ignore

Charles Duhigg says that cultures are either designed intentionally or they emerge unintentionally through the behaviors people tolerate.

If leaders don't define "how we do things here," employees will create unspoken, competing personal group rulebooks filled with friction.

Here are three of the most common behaviors I see managers not addressing, with some strategies:

1. Talking about people instead of to them

Someone is frustrated with a colleague, so they tell everyone except the colleague.

Rather than become a shuttle diplomat, ask: “Have you talked with them about this? How can I help you prepare?”

2. Blaming instead of owning

“The deadline was unrealistic.”

“Nobody told me.”

“That’s not my job.”

Try pattern-interrupting the defensiveness by focusing them on what they can control: “OK, what part of this do you own, and what can you do now?”

3. Assigning motives instead of getting curious

“She doesn’t respect me.”

“He doesn’t care.”

“They’re trying to shut me out.”

Separate fact from story with a question like, “What do you know actually happened, and what are you assuming about why?”

Culture isn't what you say on the wall. You have a lot more influence than you may realize.

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