What not to say

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More information doesn’t always make you more persuasive. It may just give the other person more reasons to say no.

This especially matters when a power imbalance puts on the pressure to prove your case, add context, explain the history, fear objections, or show your homework.

DiSC can help decide what not to say.

D Style: Cut the backstory

D Styles are driven by results, control, and forward movement. Your long explanation can feel like you’re taking the steering wheel away from them, or never grabbed it yourself.

Your VP asks why you want to change the project timeline. Rather than give the six-week history, try simply saying, “We need two more weeks to give us a clean launch and avoid rework. I recommend moving the date to the 15th, but of course it’s up to you.”

Bottom line recommendation with the why. Let them think they’re in control.

i Style: Cut the detail

i Styles are drawn to enthusiasm, possibility, recognition, and connection. Too much process can drain the enthusiasm from an idea, preventing their buy-in.

Rather than walking them through your 11-point implementation plan (your need, not theirs), start with “This gives the team a much better shot at getting people excited and actually using it.”

Give them something to believe in before something to analyze.

S Style: Cut unnecessary urgency

S Styles value stability, support, and consideration. Pressure can sound like: Something is about to happen to me and I haven't had time to process it.

Instead of “We need to decide this today,” try: “I’d like to make the change this week. I’ve thought through how it affects the team, and we can make the transition without disrupting their current work.”

Lower the threat to team (or their) harmony, and you make movement feel safe.

C Style: Cut unsupported claims

C Styles are driven by accuracy, logic, and competence. “Trust me, this will work” doesn't reassure them. It gives them something to investigate. When one piece of data is incorrect, they’ll suspect everything. 

Try: “Based on the last three projects, this approach should reduce rework. I can show you the numbers if useful.”

Give them the evidence, then ask what else they need to know. Remember their need for accuracy, and to be blameless if things go sideways.

When influencing up, anxiety makes us add – add rationale, add context, add persuasion – but influence also comes from understanding what not to say.

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