The 4 support languages
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Are you missing something?
Teams fall out of sync when we misunderstand how people give—and want—support.
What feels warm and thoughtful to one person can feel cold or confusing to another.
I once heard a direct communicator say:
“If I didn’t care about you, I wouldn’t have told you what I think.”
That’s support. Just not the kind that I, as an S Style, recognize.
Let’s break it down by communication style (using the DiSC model):
Ways the 4 Styles Perceive Support:
D (Dominance): Support = challenge me, help me win
i (Influence): Support = encourage me, include me
S (Steadiness): Support = be consistent, listen to me
C (Conscientiousness): Support = give me all the information, respect the process, don’t rush it
Ways the 4 Styles Show Support:
D: Offers solutions, takes action, speaks blunt truth
i: Brings energy, celebrates you, offers connection
S: Checks in quietly, remembers your preferences, stays steady
C: Improves systems for you, gives thoughtful feedback, shares expertise
If someone’s support doesn’t look like yours, don’t assume it’s not there.
Learn their language. Teach yours.
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