Shakespearean insults

My college mentor and Shakespeare prof, Mike Olmert, just retired (at 82!), so in his honor, here’s a post he’d appreciate...

Shakespeare may have died 400 years ago, but he seems to have known some of our coworkers. Here are some of the Bard’s insults for today’s Falstaffs.

When someone schedules another meeting that should have been an email: “I do desire we may be better strangers.” — As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 2

When someone talks for 20 minutes without making a point: “More of your conversation would infect my brain.” — Coriolanus, Act 2, Scene 1

When someone offers an opinion you didn’t ask for: “You are not worth another word.” — All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 2, Scene 3

When the meeting drags on for two hours: “I am sick when I do look on thee.” — A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Act 2, Scene 1

When someone replies-all, again: “Away, you three-inch fool!” — The Taming of the Shrew, Act 4, Scene 1

When someone sends you a meeting invite with no agenda: “Let’s meet as little as we can.” — As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 2

And that person who makes commitments with absolutely no intention of keeping them is “An infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker.” — All’s Well That Ends Well, Act 3, Scene 6.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

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