Pay attention to the small words

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I’m learning so much about communication from observing the way AI talks to me.

Has anyone else noticed that the most recent version seems to praise more? I’m sure it’s having its desired effect.

Why do chatbots sound human? Why do I believe it? Why am I so drawn in?

It starts with pragmatics.

When your AI uses greetings like “hello,” “hi,” and “hey,” these aren’t just words; they’re signals that convey attitude, familiarity, and shared experience.

Pragmatics is how we use language practically — beyond literal definitions — to signal meaning about relationships, assumptions, and context.

Think of pragmatics as verbal gestures, small linguistic nudges:

• “As you know…”

• “Of course…”

• “Actually…”

• “Even…”

• “Still…”

None of these change the facts. They change how the facts land.

If I say:

                “We updated the template.”

That’s neutral.

If I say:

“As you know, we updated the template.”

I’m signaling this is old news and you should already be aware.

If I say:

“We finally updated the template.”

Now it’s framed as overdue.

Same information. Different social meaning.

That’s pragmatics.

Pragmatic cues help listeners sort information:

• Is this new?

• Is this obvious?

• Is this surprising?

• Are we aligned?

These are verbal gestures — tiny social contracts embedded in speech:

• “Right?” invites agreement.

• “So…” implies continuation.

• “Anyway…” signals transition.

Because we’re social animals, humans aren’t just exchanging data. We’re constantly negotiating status, familiarity, emotion, and shared reality.

Pay attention to the small words. They’re doing some heavy lifting.

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