It’s not eye contact. It’s eye timing.

You’ve probably heard the old advice to maintain eye contact to show confidence.

Bad advice — at least, if you take it literally.

100% eye contact comes across as a power move or even aggression.

Studies show the sweet spot is actually 60–70% eye contact — enough to show connection, not domination.

Here’s one of many ways to use eye contact to influence.

When you speak, look up and sideways (signaling that you’re thinking, accessing information in your brain’s files), and when you’re ready to finish your thought, return your gaze directly to the person you’re trying to influence and finish with a clear statement.

You probably do this naturally, but you can now be conscious of it.

People like seeing others “search” for the right words. It makes you seem thoughtful, relatable, and human.

When you lock eyes at the conclusion, it feels like you’re sharing your insight with them, not at them.

Let’s say you’re leading a team meeting and someone asks how you’ll handle a tight deadline.

You look up briefly, organize your thoughts, and then lock eyes with them as you say: “Here’s the plan: we’ll shift two resources and prioritize the launch first.”

Appear calm, competent, and connected.