How to say “I’m just not buying it.”

What can you say when someone tells you something you don’t really believe? 

Let’s say you and your partner are trying to decide how you're going to spend your evening, and she says, “I’ll do whatever you want,” but in a way that you don’t think she’s really being 100% honest.

You could say something like, “I heard you say ‘yes, you're okay going out to dinner,’ but you know...there's two something about the tone in your voice...and I'm just not fully believing that you really want to. I want to do something that will be fun for both of us, so is there something else you’d rather do?”

Wow. That was impressive. How did you do that?

You repeated back what you heard her say, leaving space for the possibility that you misinterpreted the message. 

You shared why you didn’t trust what she said, which may help her more easily receive the message. 

Then you checked to see if your interpretation was correct.

That’s some confident communication. Well done.

Previous
Previous

The power of the open-ended question

Next
Next

How to tell someone they did a great job