Helping or hijacking?

Is your nervous system helping or hijacking your communication?

Dysregulated people demand agreement. Regulated people are comfortable with disagreement.

It’s even harder to have a tough conversation when your heart's racing and your mind’s all over the place.

That’s not just nerves — that’s your brain signaling that something’s not safe for you.

Maybe your brain thinks that if you disagree with your boss it will affect how she sees you. Your bonus is at risk. Or maybe your status.

Here’s the deal:

• A regulated nervous system means you feel grounded, present, and able to think clearly. You can listen, stay curious, and adjust your words in real-time.

• A dysregulated nervous system means you’re stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode. You’re reacting, not responding. Logic goes offline, and survival instincts take over — and that rarely leads to great communication.

When you’re regulated, you can handle feedback without getting defensive.

You can ask clarifying questions instead of making assumptions.

You can disagree respectfully instead of steamrolling or shutting down.

Practice this:

Before you respond to something stressful, ask yourself:

“Am I calm enough to stay curious right now?”

If not, take a beat.

Breathe deeply a few times and self-soothe the nervous system.

Then respond with intent, rather than like a reactionary bundle of nerves.

Influential communicators don’t just manage their message, they manage their state.

Me > You > Us.

Stay grounded. Stay influential.