Be interesting
Charisma isn’t about being extroverted, it’s about being interested.
When you ask people thoughtful questions—ones that light them up—you spark more than a good conversation. You trigger dopamine, the brain’s chemical of motivation, excitement, and pleasure.
Dopamine creates “mental markers”—neural tags that help the brain remember moments and people, by associating them with positive emotion.
So when someone walks away from a conversation subconsciously thinking, "I feel good about myself," their brain is literally saying, “You need to remember that person.”
And yet, we still open conversations with, “So… what do you do?” which is really asking, “How valuable are you?”
No dopamine.
Instead, ask about how people define themselves and what excites them:
“What are you working on that you’re excited about?”
“What’s something in your world right now that lights you up?”
“What’s a project or idea that’s taken over your brain recently?”
Relationships are mirrors.
Show interest in someone’s passion and become part of their story.
