7 phrases to get past gatekeepers

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I make a point to have outstanding relationships with the assistants, security guards, admins, receptionists, coordinators, schedulers, facilities staff, and the people behind the scenes who actually keep things moving.

Think gatekeepers are obstacles?

They’re not in your way. They are the way.

Most people try to get around them, but confident communicators turn them into allies.

Here are 7 phrases that open doors being gate-kept:

1. “I know you're the person who actually keeps this place running. I need your help.”

Most people treat gatekeepers like they don’t matter.

This shows respect—and awareness.

Gatekeepers don’t block those who value them. They block those who don’t.

2. “I’m not going to waste your boss’s time. That’s why I’m talking to you first.”

Now you’ve reframed the interaction.

You’re not trying to get past them. You’re asking them to qualify you.

When someone feels like the decision-maker before the decision-maker, doors open.

3. “If this doesn’t make sense, you can tell me right now. I trust your judgment.”

Most people talk through gatekeepers.

You’re talking to them.

You’re giving them something they rarely get: Respect for their contribution.

4. “I’d rather be honest with you than try to get around you. That never works anyway.”

You just disarmed the situation.

Gatekeepers expect manipulation. You removed it.

You acknowledged the game—and refused to play it.

5. “Between you and me—what does [boss’s name] actually care about right now?”

Now you’ve changed the conversation.

You’re no longer asking for access. You’re asking for insight.

That turns them into a partner.

6. “When you pass this along to your boss—and I think you should—here’s the one thing that will get their attention.”

This does three things at once:

• Assumes they’ll advocate for you

• Gives them the exact words to use

• Makes them part of the outcome

Now they’re invested.

7. “If this works out, it’s because you... I won’t forget that.”

You’re giving credit in advance.

That creates ownership—and loyalty.

And next time you call, the door is already open.

What’s behind these approaches?

Respect. 

Every one of these phrases taps into a core human need, be it status, autonomy, belonging, or recognition.

Access isn’t granted.

It’s earned through how you make people feel.

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