When are you passive, aggressive, or assertive?

Jun 01, 2021
Photo by mentatdgt from Pexels

Yesterday’s Daily Tip discussed the three styles of communication. Today, let’s be honest about which we use, when, and with whom.


In which situations do you use these passive communication techniques?


The invisible expert

Example: “They say the situation is getting worse. Some say it’s getting better. Who can you trust?”

I tend to call on the invisible expert when and with...

State feelings indirectly

Example: “The layoff made me feel, you know...you work all those years, and they send you home packing.”

I tend to state feelings indirectly when and with…


Hint at what you want

Examples: “John thinks we should…” or “Nice day for an outing. What do you think we should do?”

I tend to only hint at what I want when and with...


Other passive communication techniques

I tend to use other passive techniques such as...when and with...

In what situations do use these aggressive communication strategies?


In which situations do you use these aggressive communication techniques?


Sarcasm or humorous putdowns

Example: “OK, Einstein.”

I tend to be dismissive when and with...



Example: “You’re driving me nuts!”

I tend to use “you-messages” when and with...



Examples: “You never...” or “You always…”

I tend to use absolutes when and with...


Other aggressive communication techniques

I tend to use other aggressive techniques such as...when and with...


My assertiveness goals

Where, when, and with whom would you like to become more assertive? In what situations would you like to behave differently?

Examples: “I want to present my ideas at business meetings,” or “I want to tell my client when I think there’s a better approach.”


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