I messed up

I once coached a COO on communicating that the founder of her organization was retiring, and she was to take his place as CEO.

I helped them both prepare and after the big meeting where they shared the news, I asked how it went.

The COO’s terse reply: “It was a disaster.”

It turned out that the founder got so emotional about leaving that he went off script and some of the executives mistakenly thought he was being forced out by the COO.

Oy.

It would have been very easy for me to blame the founder for going off script as the reason for the poor results.

Instead, I said, “Well for my part, I should have explored this more as a possible risk.”

I took responsibility for my part and apologized.

She appreciated that, and we’re still working together.

Patrick Lencioni defines vulnerability-based trust as "a place where leaders comfortably and quickly acknowledge, without provocation, their mistakes, weaknesses, failures, and need for help.”

It really does build better relationships than blaming, covering, making excuses, or hiding your role.